Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize