I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
