she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
