I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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