Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
