Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
