What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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