based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
