i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I party with great urgency now.
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