my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I cut my penus on the lid.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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