I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
