There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
