watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
