i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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