The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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