the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
