Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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