Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
