You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
