Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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