im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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