We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
