I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My cat gives me a boner
im holly from the hills drunk
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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