I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
