I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
