allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
