drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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