Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
