his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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