lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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