So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
