It was confusing and full of hummus
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
