Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
