my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
