saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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