...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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