he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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