dude i'm inner monologue high
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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