well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
