I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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