Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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