They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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