You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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