She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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