My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
