you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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