24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
