Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
