Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
