1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
