He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
