You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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