he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
