the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the day after is always just damage control
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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