Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
