do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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