I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
