i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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