Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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