very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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