So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
