Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
