i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
