Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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