She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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